Sometimes tourists are very, very special

We do not say that tourists are stupid, but sometimes they should switch on their brain before leaving for vacation.
 
Published with approval of my wife!

This an excerpt of a recent survey from Thomas Cook and the Association of British Travel Agents. Don’t blame the Brits, Frenchies and Germans are even worse.

“It’s lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during ‘siesta’ time — this should be banned.”

OK, we’ll shop in your place around midnight. This is when we urgently need the things… 

“On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don’t like spicy food at all.”

“We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes and towels.”

A water park isn’t that dry, is it? 

“The beach was too sandy.”

Next time you should book “on the rocks”. 

“Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women.”

Buy very dark sunglasses for your husband (hmm, see below) 

“We bought ‘Ray-Ban’ sunglasses for five Euros from a street trader, only to find out they were fake.”

 And for another five Euros you get a ‘real’ Lolex. 

“No one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled.”

Oh no, fish in the sea. They should be in the supermarket in form of frozen fish-sticks.
Maybe they had also be out on vacation. 

“There are too many Spanish people. The receptionist speaks Spanish. The food is Spanish. Too many foreigners now live abroad.”

Oh, we understand, you didn’t want to stay at home during vacation because:
There are to many British, they only speak English and the food … no we don’t want you to throw out.

“I was bitten by a mosquito, no-one said they could bite.”

Hey, mosquitoes do not bite. They kiss you. A kiss in the morning – you won’t forget all day. 

“My fiancé and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked.”

 Sorry, this one we cannot comment. Can you? There must have been some bees in that room. It’s the bees that fly from one flower to the other to do their job, don’t they?